| Resolution | Kept | Not |
| 01. Cease morbid obsession with sad things. Stop being obsessive actually altogether. People at department stores really don’t appreciate it when you switch off their unused electricity sockets. | x | |
| 02. Find another ~150 corks to finish of my second cork board before the year is out. | x | |
| 03. Don’t lose a single umbrella all year. | x | |
| 04. Listen to happier music – ban James Blunt, U2, Five for Fighting and Michael Bublé altogether. | x | |
| 05. Be less tolerant with people who are late – stick to your guns. Since this annoys you immensely you ought to say so rather than submit to the inevitable lateness of rude friends. | x | |
| 06. Eat as many winegums as your heart desires and don’t worry about the price anymore. If you don’t make it to 2011 you’ll be glad to have kept this resolution. | x | |
| 07. Get a better fashion sense. Current theme of ‘wear whatever is clean and ironed’ clearly isn’t working. | x | |
| 08. Arrive punctual and happy to work. | x | |
| 09. Limit drinks during the week to a ‘sociable’ minimum. | x | |
| 10. Cancel Orange Broadband Dongle – out of contract, hardly ever used and now just a waste of good money. | x | |
| 11. Reduce clutter. Scan in all old paperwork and recycle the lot. | x | |
| 12. Throw away receipts older than two years. I have complete personal receipts back to age 16 and that takes up many, many shoeboxes. Get rid finally. | x | |
| 13. Make at least one iPod work again. | x | |
| 14. Buy a decent pair of headphones. | x | |
| 15. Play more games. Brought back Risk, Monopoly, Othello and Backgammon from Wales this Christmas. Play them all, as frequently as possible. Invest in a set of “Go”. | x | |
| 16. Improve Chess skill level substantially. Learn to play a new board game regularly. Avoid learning too much about card games. | x | |
| 17. Take the next level of French class on completing the current one. | x | |
| 18. Begin some sort of professional vocational qualification – either in finance or computing. Decide which. | x | |
| 19. Dust and vacuum more often. Once a year would be an improvement. Find someone to do this. | x | |
| 20. Eat less cheese and try to make sauccisson bought at Borough Market last more than a day. | x | |
| 21. Invite more people to dinner. Try to eat alone less frequently, especially in restaurants – it’s not very becoming, really. | x | |
| 22. Replace mobile phone. Sell old one to someone in Africa. | x | |
| 23. Don’t call call-centres unless absolutely essential. Write no letters of complaint whatsoever. | x | |
| 24. Re-arrange living situation – need a double bed and an electric blanket. | x | |
| 25. Stop drinking red wine in bed. Duvet covers are too expensive to be disposed of weekly. | x | |
| 26. Find out how to strengthen nails without making them shiny with gunk bought. Buy something to remove shiny gunk. | x | |
| 27. Take a minimalist’s approach to bunch of keys. 11 are surely not actually needed on a daily basis. | x | |
| 28. Reduce the number of bottles on my now fragile bathroom shelf. 90% aren’t used any more. Perhaps there’s an eBay market place for half-used expensive (but useless) hair stuff? Look into this. | x | |
| 29. Drink more tea. It’s all been down hill since you reduced your tea intake. Stop taking sugar with tea. | x | |
| 30. Forget all of the boys who have sensibly forgotten me. | x | |
| 31. Work out a standard spiel for graciously and sincerely accepting compliments without being offensive or dismissive. | x | |
| 32. Accept that there are limits and that you too are bound by them. | x | |
| 33. Re-pot my beloved and only house plant. It’s twice as big as it was 5 years ago when I bought it whilst at University. | x | |
| 34. Consider re-evaluating policy of having mobile phone switched on 24/7. | x | |
| 35. Go to Wales a maximum of twice this year. Your family are just as capable of travelling as you are and would likely benefit from a change of scenery. Encourage them to visit London. | x | |
| 36. Really make the most of the weekends. This doesn’t mean be drunk and/or sleeping from 6pm Friday to 6am Monday. | x | |
| 37. Have the lovely Amazon people send a book per month sent to your twin brother. He likes reading and his total abject poverty shouldn’t stop him. | x | |
| 38. Buy a stamp, at least once every 3 months. Not knowing the price of a stamp is not funny. I can’t believe they’re 39p. They were about 21p last time I bought a stamp. | x | |
| 39. Engage a lawyer to draft a Last Will & Testament – “End of Life Issues” are neglected by most young(ish) people – don’t fall into this statistic. | x | |
| 40. Keep your food cupboards better stocked. Commence a phased reduction of ridiculously vast personal stationary store. | x | |
| 41. Replace bicycle helmet. | x | |
| 42. Try Hydrotherapy. | x | |
| 43. Learn to cheer yourself up. Quite good at cheering others up – can’t be hard to project that inwards as well as externally. | x | |
| 44. Take a proper holiday and really relax. Leave Europe on holiday at least once. Perhaps it’s time you visited Egypt? | x | |
| 45. Visit Kew – the Gardens and the National Archives. | x | |
| 46. Try to eat breakfast most days. | x | |
| 47. Close Blockbuster account – they have cripplingly high late fines. | x | |
| 48. Finally visit The Château de Chenonceau and make sure you do so at a time whereby you can row a boat down the river. Procrastination alone stopped you from doing this last year, idiot. | x | |
| 49. Design and deploy a Twitter Background. | x | |
| 50. However reluctantly; consider investing in a television. | x | |
| 51. Be yourself and enjoy 2010. | x |
